Time heals everything

and the sparkle in your eye is beyond tempting. i inhale your scent and your love intoxicates me. swirls of gold, silver, purple. my thoughts curve and run, nothing makes sense. it's a lust. it's a need. it's a love so strong that nothing can stand in it's way. you came when i needed you most.. not when i thought i did. you came when i was ready, for healing, for forgiveness, for a second chance. it's because of you i regret nothing, because you made everything okay. every glance at the future breaks my heart. i start to lose sight of who i am without you. i know the dangers, i know the pain.. yet i can't help but fall to pieces when you say my name.

the way you move is beautiful, who you are... is beautiful.

I loved you ;

but frankly I was never in love with you.

Like a hot, sweet July car crash, we we're destined for misery. Though i loved you, it meant nothing in the long run. So I live on, I move on, I breathe on. I wont dwell, cause baby you broke down long before the crash, and you were running on fumes.

I looked in your eyes, and saw the beginning of love.. Now i see the beginning of a lie. As words twist and skew from your mouth, I can't hear the meaning, only the sugar coated outline of deceit. You can't fool me, you can't hide from me. I knew your game from the start, and you weren't playing by the rules. So tell me now, how does it feel to play alone?

My bitter sweet, can you see through the fog of that brain? Though you may find release in your indulgence, I see only fear, hiding behind a mask of failure. So next time you decide to pick up the phone, and attempt another failed call. Think twice. Once for the day you told me you loved me, and again for the day you said the same thing to her.

" I just want to tell you something I love you so much don't forget that " I remembered, but it seems more then likely you forgot. I don't mind being in your shadow. The sun never stays in one spot for long, and soon I will be lit up. Enjoy the dark.

Welcome To My Life

So, I'm not sure what brings me back here. I have been here before, writing for no purpose, just to release certain feelings. I drifted away for a while, but now I find myself looking for a reason to write. I think it's because I miss that part of my life. When times got hard, I could always turn here for some way of letting it all go. After a few months of things continuously going wrong, i kindof gave up, and started asking myself if there really was a point to this in the first place. I guess I came back because I missed it, because its a part of me, and at this point in my life I feel like I'm losing so much that I can't afford to willingly let anything go without putting up a fight.

I am currently fifteen years old, in my tenth grade of school. I go to a high school in the city, but my mother, step-father, step-sister and I live out in the country. Most times I'm a typical teenager; putting up a fuss when I don't get what I want, while most of my time is taken up with hating my parents. Other times, I'm everything but ordinary, and just when I think I have figured myself out, I couldn't be farther away from an answer.

In life I find, I often get lost. I spend so much of my time analysing the smallest details, that I lose the bigger picture completely. I dissect every situation, and most times have myself convinced everyone is out to get me. I can sometimes overreact, and I am not for one minute scared to admit I'm quite the "Drama Queen" as they say. But; truth be told, I don't mind. I have tried to change myself to better suit other peoples wants, but I always find that nothing is more satisfying then being yourself.

I'm still learning, growing, maturing. I'm still lost half the time, and I'm never afraid to admit that I don't know what to do. I'm going to make mistakes, but I'm going to learn from them, that's a promise I am making to myself.

I am who I am, and I dare anybody to try and change me.

xoxo - Melissa